


The God's King

by DreamingOfReapers



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is emotionally constipated, Arthur's 3rd person perspective, Everyone is gucci except Uther and Morgaus. Fuck them. Oh and Agravaine, F/M, God!Merlin, Gwaine is a powerbottom, I wrote this instead of my english essay, Lancelot lives and is married to Gwen, M/M, Mama Merlin is fucking grand and is definitely one of my fannons, Merlin’s real name is Emrys and as all gods have a symbol, Mordred is basically adopted by Merlin and Morgana, Mordred is there and is gucci, Morgana is also gucci, Uther is still alive because Merlin about to fuck him up, his is the Merlin Falcon and found it only fitting he takes its name.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingOfReapers/pseuds/DreamingOfReapers
Summary: Basically my take if Merlin had been a god. Also me satisfying a fever dream.I swear the story is better than my summary, I just suck at summaries and titles. I sat for 10 minutes trying to figure out a title.
Relationships: Alice/Gaius (Merlin), Elyan/Leon (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 78





	1. Prologue- The Legend ft. Mordred Being A Sweet Baby Boy, Gwaine and Percy Getting It On In The Woods, Leon and Elyan Being Cuddly Babies, Domestic Lance and Gwen, And Arthur Being A Love Sick Fool

**Author's Note:**

> Gaius, Morgana, Lance and Mordred know he is a god.  
> \--Morgana because he is teaching her how to control her magic  
> \--Mordred because he is druid and knows his god  
> \--Gaius because at one point in time he had been Merlin’s student  
> \--Lance because I mean…. Lance knows Merlin too well.
> 
> Specific episodes do not happen. Not in my AU hun.  
> \--The Beginning Of Then End (season 1 episode 8)  
> \--The Once and Future Queen (season 2 episode 2)  
> \--The Nightmare Begins (season 2 episode 3)  
> \--Lancelot and Guineviere (season 2 episode 4)  
> \--The Lady of Lake (season 2 episode 9) Freya is already a goddess  
> \--The Witch’s Quickening (season 2 episode 11)  
> \--The Tears of Uther Pendragon (season 3 episodes 1&2)  
> \--The Crystal Cave (season 3 episode 5)  
> \--Queen of Hearts (season 3 episode 10)  
> \--The Wicked Day (season 4 episode 3)  
> \--Basically all of Season 4, since Uther is still alive and Arthur is still the prince.

Laughter filled the air, Gwaine had just finished another one of his stories from before his knighthood. It had been something ridiculous involving a bear, a woman, a tankard of ale and said woman’s husband. The details were fuzzed out by wine. Everyone had told a story at this point, well everyone except Mordred and Merlin, which wasn’t all that surprising. Morgana had said something about when she lived with the druids for a year that involved pixies, Gwen shared something that happened in the kitchens involving a chicken that was dead but wasn’t dead, Elyan said something about a poet he met in his travels that had a flair for getting naked on roof tops, Percy relayed something from childhood, Lance spoke of his travels after the griffin and Arthur, himself, had even told a story from a hunt but Merlin and Mordred never told their own. That was something that was going to change tonight.  
Thinking briefly, Arthur decided the young druid would be easiest to convince to open up. “Mordred, why don’t you tell a story?” Arthur questioned looking at the young man with his best ‘king’ face, which had its desired effect in making the youngest squirm.  
“Erm, well, I don’t really have any stories,” Mordred stammered in reply, looking down.  
“Oh come now, surely you have something! Even a bedtime story would be good!” Gwaine said while rolling his eyes.  
Mordred perked up at that, “I know legends! Legends past down by my people.”  
Morgana gave an encouraging smile, “I would love to hear one. Maybe tell us your favorite?” Arthur took a look around the circle to see everyone was interested (except Merlin who looked nervous, but that didn’t really register in Arthur’s mind who chalked it up to the fact Merlin was light weight despite all the time he spends in the taverns). After discovering Mordred was druid, no one really acknowledged it, even Mordred himself. To have him tell something like this may be good for the others to be more comfortable with the fact.  
Mordred took a deep breath before launching into his tale. “It was a time of peace, when man lived beside man and there was no judgement. No war and no death. The triple goddess smiled down upon the humans and felt content and pride at the sight of her people living peacefully. She walked to a well to take a drink. I’m a little fuzzy on the details of why she did this but I do know this. After drinking from the well, she had prophetic vision, one that showed a massacre of people and the death reigning over the land. From this horrible time rose up a king who would bring the people back to a time of peace and prosperity, who would allow freedom for all, and whose reign would be endless. The king and his knights would face many foes in the struggle for such a time. The king would fall and the time would not come until he rose again. When the triple goddess came out of her vision, she swore to ensure that the Golden Age would come and no harm would befall the king. She created a being of pure power, who could defy death and all others who would rise against the king. The Maiden gave the being beauty and optimism, their beauty would be compared to by no other and would be able to find the good in everything. The Mother gave him innocence and purity, the being would feel compassion and love and would fight and care for their king. The Crone gifted him wisdom beyond anyone, in hopes this wisdom would be called upon by his king and used for the greater good. When the being was done being created, there before the Triple goddess stood a boy who was unlike any other. In that moment, the Mother stepped forward and named him Emrys.”  
A gasp escaped Morgana, causing everyone to look at her but she was only looking at Merlin, who looked like he wanted to hurl. She seemed to realize everyone was watching her and quickly looked back at Mordred before clearing her throat, “ Continue please.”  
Mordred gave her a knowing look before opening his mouth again, “ The Triple goddess sent Emerys down to the humans in order to learn how to master his abilities. While down on our plain, Emrys created the Druids, my people, and deemed them his children. In celebration of this, he gifted a part of his power to us mortals. Magic. You see, Emrys is magic itself, a god above us, who gave us something splendid, which humans abused for their own wicked gain. Emrys did not care though. He deemed those who were born with the gift and came into it later in their lives, his brothers and sister. Druids were his children and those who chose to study magic were his pupils. He walked the earth giving nothing love and compassion but as all good things, that came to an end. Not the love and compassion part! He very much does that still but something happened. Something horrible, that resulted in the slaughter of many with magic. I can’t tell you but……… what happened was unjust and caused Emrys so much heartache. The only reason my Lord did not take his revenge was because his king was born. The very reason he was created came into existence and he had to bow down. He mourns though. He mourns the death of his students, brothers and sisters and his children. Anyways, I could go on and on about the adventures of Emrys and all that he has done but we would never get any sleep. So on that note, good night!” Mordred practically scrambled to his bed roll, leaving everyone feeling ill.  
“So…. are we going to talk about the fact that there is a god of the old religion walking the Earth according to Mordred who bows down to one man and is mourning the death of everyone with magic that the princess's father killed or are we just gonna sit here in silence?” Gwaine asked, casting a look at everyone.  
“You forget the biggest part. Mordred sidestepped the whole reason the Great Purge happened. Meaning he knows something we don't,” Elyan pointed out from his spot curled into Leon’s side. Leon, who had wrapped an arm around him, nodded in agreeance.  
Gwen frowned from her place in between Lancelot’s legs. “Why wouldn’t he tell us?”, she asked looking up at Lance, who mirrored her frown and shrugged. “I don’t know, my lilac.”  
“Well he did say it was something horrible and unjust,” Percy said as he stretched, giving Gwaine an opportunity to climb into his lap. Percy just smiled at his lover and blushed as Gwaine started kissing his neck.  
“I think we should call it a night,” Merlin rasped out, there was a sadness in his tone that made Arthur’s heart ache. Merlin, his sweet, caring Merlin, never should feel any sadness and hearing him sound so crushed made him want to reach out and hold him.  
“Yes, I agree, preferably before we Gwaine and Percy get it on,” Morgana replied as she stood up walking over to the only tent in the clearing. Percy flushed but Gwaine only stuck out his tongue like a child before going back to his attack on Percy’s neck. “Merlin? Can I speak with you before you go to sleep?”  
“Of course my lady,” The reply had a sick kind of forced happiness in it and that hurt more than the sadness because that meant he was trying to cover up his pain and all Arthur wanted to do was ensure his best friend healed and never felt pain again. Merlin shuffled next to him before standing up and following Morgana. Merlin shot a smile over his shoulder at Arthur before disappearing into the tent with Morgana, which resulted in Arthur’s stomach being filled with butterflies.  
Leon and Elyan moved to their bedrolls which were right next to each other, the two loved cuddling together at night and honestly? Arthur was a little envious because he would love to snuggle up to Merlin and hold him. Lance stood up before offering a hand to his wife before the two walked over to their own palettes. Gwaine had stood up and was tugging on Percy’s arm to get him into the woods where no one would hear them. Thank the gods, Arthur thought. Though he wasn't adverse to doing the same thing with a certain manservant who was loyal to a fault and was possibly the only one he could truly depend on, whose smile was what Arthur thought of before going into battle, whose eyes haunted his dreams, and whose skin Arthur could imagine leaving marks on.……………………….. 

Arthur seriously needed help.


	2. Chapter 1- The Truth ft. Merlin Being A Mom To The Pendragon Siblings, Gwen And Lance Are Expecting, And Mordred Being Morgana’s son

Morgana burst into the room dragging Mordred behind her. All the knights, Gwen, Arthur and Merlin were already there. Gwen was sitting in Lancelot’s lap and smiling kindly at the Druid knight while Lancelot was rubbing her belly. Gwaine was challenging Elyan to a drinking challenge, Leon was trying to stop that from happening, Percy looked grateful that it was someone else dealing with his lover’s antics, Merlin was pressing himself to the wall as though he wanted to disappear and Arthur was sitting at the head of the table trying to seem regal despite the chaos. They had been planning this since that fateful night in the woods. The night Mordred revealed he knew more than any of them on a certain topic and everyone (minus Merlin, who thought they should leave it well enough alone) was determined to get answers to the questions that had been nagging them for nearly 3 months now.   
Morgana slammed her hand on the table, getting everyone's attention. Mordred looked like a scared little kitten standing before the group. Arthur cleared his throat and gestured to the empty seat at the foot of the table. Mordred shakily sat down, looking warily at everyone while Morgana took the last remaining seat. Morgana sat a reassuring hand on his arm and smiled.   
“Now Mordred,” Arthur spoke as if he was in court and he could see the flicker of anxiety in the youngest knight's eyes. “We are all going to ask you one question and you will answer honestly. Do you understand?” Mordred’s eyes flickered to where Merlin was standing behind the king as if asking what to do before giving a hesitant nod.   
“Good,” Arthur mused. “We will go around the table. I want the last question.” Everyone seemed to agree with this. Well, everyone but Merlin who seemed to press himself further into the wall. Arthur gestured to Gwaine sitting at the far end of the table on the other side of Mordred.  
Gwaine cleared his throat and then smiled, “Are you a virgin?” Mordred looked taken aback by this. Clearly, it wasn’t what he expected and he seemed to physically relax at that. Good, that was the plan. Lure him into a false sense of security then ask the real questions.   
Mordred blushed scarlet, “N-no. No, I am not.” Gwaine gave a hearty laugh at that and patted the druid hard on the shoulder, jostling him. No one saw Merlin also relax slightly.  
Arthur then turned to Morgana, who was rubbing soothing circles into Mordred’s wrist. She spoke softly while giving a reassuring smile, “What is your favorite treat? I know your name day is right around the corner and I want to get you it.”   
Mordred’s eyes lit up in excitement at the prospect of getting his favorite food for his birthday. “Pudding, I always enjoy the puddings at the feast.”   
Morgana’s smile grew, “Then that is what you shall get. I’ll put the request in the kitchen after we are done here.” Mordred seemed to be completely at ease with the way things are going and thanks to Morgana he will think it for his name day.   
Percy was next. From his spot next to Gwaine, he leaned forward to the table, “Are there any druid holidays coming up?” Good, Percy was steering the conversation towards the main goal.   
“No. Well, actually yes.” Mordred replied, voice faint as if he was thinking out loud.   
“Well? What is it?” Gwaine asked, causing Mordred to flush.   
“Emrys’ name day,” Mordred whispered, looking down the table. Merlin went rigid and started pressing himself back into the wall. Of course, no one saw this. Arthur’s only thought was that they were finally getting to the important stuff.   
Elyan, who was across from Percy, cleared his throat. “You said Emrys only bowed to one man and that the only reason Camelot wasn’t brought to ruin was because that man was born. Who is he?” Good job Elyan. Perfect transition.  
Mordred, however, looked like someone just told him that their boots were made out of newborn puppy skin. “Emrys would never have destroyed Camelot! He would never risk harming Innocents!” The druid practically shouted, slamming his hands on the table and standing up so fast the chair tipped over.   
Morgana rushed to soothe him. “They didn’t know that, dear. Please take a seat again.”   
Mordred did as she asked, standing the chair back up and slowly sitting down. His hands were in tight fists and shaking. When he looked up there was a barely contained rage in his eyes. Everyone in the room silently noted that they should never imply that Emrys would harm anyone ever again. At this point, Merlin looked as ashen as the stone wall he was trying to blend into.   
Mordred took a shaky breath before answering. “The Once and Future King is more than a man. He is Emrys’ other half. They are two sides of the same coin. It is quite coincidental that he is sitting across from me.” He was looking straight at Arthur. The words slowly sank in.   
“Me?” Arthur whispered. He had a god defending him and serving him. And it was not just any god, no. That would be ridiculous. It was the god of magic. The very thing he was raised to hate. The thing that gave Morgana her prophetic visions and Mordred’s people worshipped.  
Mordred was nodding his head with a small smile. There was something in the druid’s eyes that reminded Arthur of Merlin. Arthur automatically turned around to look at his servant. His servant, who he noted, looked ill. Arthur had always known that when magic came into a conversation, Merlin was more invested in it while simultaneously being closed off. Will, Merlin’s friend from his hometown, was always what came to mind when Arthur wondered why this was.   
Arthur breathed deeply before gesturing to Lance and Gwen, who were sharing a question. They knew that Elyan’s and Percy’s question would get the youngest worked up but they never anticipated this revelation. Lance and Gwen were to get the druid back away from the figurative edge. The edge, that if Mordred was asked the wrong question and was pushed over, would result in Mordred running out of the room and they would never get their answers.   
Lance rested his chin on his wife’s shoulder and smiled kindly. “Do you know any good names for babies?”  
Gwen quickly jumped in, “Preferably one girl and one boy will suffice!” The cheeriness of the two was contagious, chasing away the knot that had unknowingly formed in Arthur’s stomach. Mordred looked wearily at them but seemed to relax anyway.   
“Llyr and Ceridwen, pop into mind for a child that belongs to the two of you. Llyr was a king and the god on the sea. Ceridwen is the goddess of poetry,” Mordred replied. Gwen beamed.   
“I love Ceridwen! It sounds so…” She trailed off, trying to think of the right word to describe the name.  
“Poetic?” Lance mused. Gwen laughed and playfully hit her husband’s shoulder.   
“Yes. It sounds so poetic,” Gwen smiled before kissing her husband. Everyone in the room was happy for the two lovers, glad they could find joy in each other. Arthur wanted that with Merlin…  
Leon was next. His question would shape Arthur’s question, for he had not disclosed what it was to the others. He wanted to hear the answer before he asked his question. A solemn silence filled the room as everyone but Merlin and Mordred knew what the next question was. This sudden shift in the air caused Mordred to adjust himself in his seat uncomfortably and Merlin to slide down the wall silently.   
Leon took a deep breath, leaned forward, resting his folded hands on the table and met Mordred’s eye. “What caused the Great Purge?” The silence that filled the room was deafening. Mordred suddenly looked ill as he shook his head.   
“I-I can’t. Please don’t make me,” His voice was desperate. Arthur pulled himself up and fixed him the same look he gave in court to someone about to be executed for treason (not the practicing magic kind but the regular kind). Mordred saw that look, glanced at Merlin (who’s eyes were vacant as if he was somewhere else entirely), before he submitted.   
“I-it,” Mordred took a shaky breath as he raked his hands through his hair and rubbed at his eyes. “It was twenty seven years ago. Her majesty, Queen Ygraine was discovered to be unable to bear a child. King Uther in a desperate attempt to ensure his bloodline lasted without having to ask another to bear his child, turned to magic.” Arthur’s blood ran cold. He wanted to scream at Mordred to stop lying, that it wasn’t true but he could see that it pained Mordred to share this story just as much as it pained everyone to hear it. “He turned to High Priestess Nimueh, who at the time was a friend of the royal couple, and begged her to do something. She told him she would consult with Emrys. A couple days later Nimueh returned with a spell that would take the love between the royal couple and make it into a physical child, a spell Emrys was happy to create because he believed the two were destined for eachother and the price that came with the spell was something he was sure would never come to past. The spell would take one year to make the Queen’s body ready for child. During that year, the two were to remain solely devoted to each other and not betray their love or the consequence would be horrible. During that year, Camelot had to go to war. King Uther betrayed his love in a night of passion and sired a child with a lady of the court. Of course after the war he returned and proceeded to erm… you know… with her majesty and then she became pregnant. The price showed itself the day of your birth, sire. Queen Ygraine died during childbirth, which should not have happened. There were no complications. No explanation. Nimueh demanded to know what the King did in his year away and well… you know what happened. King Uther blamed magic for the loss of his wife and condemned any one who used it to death. So began the Great Purge.” Arthur was shaking in rage. Morgause had told him the truth! His father killed his mother and rather than accept his role, he blamed those who were innocent! Who cares if he was the father of The Once and Future King?! Emrys should’ve struck Uther down!   
A choked sob is what pulled everyone from their similar thought process. They all looked at Merlin who was curled up on the floor crying. Mordred and Morgana were quickly at his side, holding him and assuring him. Arthur, with barely contained rage, decided it was time for his questions, for now he had two. “Mordred,” The prince gritted out, causing the boy to look up at him. “You said my father sired another child, one older than me. Who?” Arthur growled out the last word.   
Mordred gulped and looked at Merlin and Morgana, who were curled up together and crying. Why? Arthur had no idea. Mordred looked him square in the eye and spoke softly, “Swear to me, sire, that you will not lash out at this person or your father. It is not what Emrys would want. If you do this, I will tell you but I will not risk betraying Emrys’ confidence by doing so before then.”   
Arthur slammed his hand on the table, causing everyone to jump. Merlin uncurled himself slightly and held out an arm to Arthur. Arthur, didn’t think twice about accepting the invitation and slid to the floor, quickly curling himself into Merlin’s right side, Morgana curled in on the left. Arthur nuzzled his face into Merlin’s neck, listening to Merlin quietly whisper words of endearment to them both. Merlin was apologizing for their pain, which Arthur thought was ludicrous, seeing as he wasn’t the one that caused this. The servant continued to hold the two, slowly rocking them back and forth, singing to them under his breath, ignoring the fact he was the one to cry first and pushing aside his own pain for others. Arthur took a deep breath, inhaling the soothing scent that was Merlin. He smelled like the forest, earthy and natural, like flowers, sweet and tender, like freshly baked goods, so warm and homely.   
Arthur looked at Mordred, “ I swear on my mother’s grave and my honor, not to lash out and bring physical harm to either my father or sibling, whoever they may be.” Mordred nodded at this.   
“The child that was sired was a girl,” Mordred stated. I have a sister, Arthur couldn’t help the twitch at the corner of his lips that should form a smile. “She has been with you since she was a child under the guise of the Ward of the King.” A strangled cry left the lips of Morgana, Arthur let the tears fall and sobs escape while Merlin held them tighter, whispering apologies to them on behalf of his- their, he had to tell himself, their father. Chairs were heard scraping the floor and suddenly the others were there on the floor with them.   
Gwen had tears streaming down her soft face and Lance looked mournful, like he had just been told that a valiant knight had died. Percy looked on the brink of tears too, bless his kind heart, and Gwaine looked furious on the newly discovered siblings behalf. Leon looked as if he had been betrayed by a dear friend and Elyan looked broken. Mordred looked as if he regrets telling them while simultaneously looking as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.   
Merlin continued to hold the two siblings comforting them in a way a mother would. The pain in the room was nearly suffocating. Arthur wanted to jump up and run his father through but he had sworn he would do no physical harm to him. Ignoring and acting cold it was then, let his father be damned and feel the loneliness that Morgana had felt all these years as a result of his treachery. Morgana had thought her family was dead and while yes, Uther and Arthur accepted her with open arms, there was a space between them for the siblings had thought there was no blood and that Morgana’s only family was dead when in fact it was the complete opposite. Arthur knew that Morgana was close with Merlin ever since he came here, regrettably before Arthur had realised how important the servant was to him. Arthur was so happy when he saw Morgana laughing hideously and unabashed at something Merlin had said in the courtyard one day because he knew that Merlin was doing something Arthur couldn’t and that was making her happy. Then Mordred had come along and the two of them doted on him like he was their son and he might as well have been. The three all looked like they could be siblings. Siblings. Arthur resented Uther for not only stripping him of a chance to have a mother and then being a neglectful father but also not allowing him to grow up with a sister.   
Arthur at this point has long forgotten his second question, too busy mourning what could’ve been. The question had been his original and really was two questions in itself. Where and who was Emrys?  
***********************************************************  
It had been two weeks since the Interrogation of Mordred had happened. During that time, Arthur and Morgana seemed to become closer. The chasm that had been left by Uther is slowly closing. Not much changed, they just felt more connected. Morgana still relentlessly teased Arthur and Arthur still called Morgana a harpy. Something that had changed was Arthur’s relationship with Merlin and Uther. While in Merlin’s case, it wasn’t where Arthur wanted it to be (meaning they are married and ruling over Camelot with Merlin as Arthur’s queen), there definitely were new additions to it and had grown. While with his father it was the opposite.  
At night, after Merlin had helped Arthur change into his sleep clothes and had gotten Arthur into bed, Merlin, instead of leaving, would take off his boots and crawl into bed with Arthur. He would sit, propped up against the headboard and Arthur would lay his head in Merlin’s lap and bury his face into Merlin’s stomach. He would drape an arm and leg over Merlin’s legs and cry softly into Merlin’s shirt. Merlin would hum a song and comb his fingers in Arthur’s hair. During the day, Merlin would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with him and Arthur uses the term ‘eat’, loosely. Merlin always had exactly 6 and a half grapes at breakfast off of Arthur’s plate, 4 of the small cubes cheese that came with Arthur’s lunch, and at dinner he would tear 2 small pieces off of Arhur’s bread. During these meals, Merlin never seemed focused on eating but rather on Arthur and that always made the prince’s stomach do somersaults.   
Merlin would ask what he dreamed of at night during breakfast, Arthur would always lie and say something like ‘defeating a monster’ or ‘having a successful hunt for once since Merlin came into his service’ rather than tell him that he had dreamt about being married to the servant or in his more heated dreams, what he sounded like. Merlin would always laugh and call him a prat, Arthur would always call him an idiot and they would fall into their typical banter. At lunch, Merlin would always ask how training with knights went or how the council meeting went, depending on which Arthur had that morning. If it was training, Arthur would always fall to a long rant about none of the new recruits should even be considered or how the already knighted knights were getting sloppy. If it was a council meeting, Arthur would launch into a different rant about how taxes were too high and not accommodating to the people who could barely meet the current taxes or how Uther was a hypocritical tyrant for trying to get him hunt down the druids and other magical users. Merlin would always roll his and laugh about the knights and he would always be caring and sympathetic when it came to the council meetings, sometimes even giving really good solutions to problems that arose. During dinner, since Merlin and Arthur always spent the afternoon together, Merlin would ask him silly, endearing questions, such as: ‘what is your favorite animal’ ‘what’s your favorite food’ ‘if you weren’t a prince what would do’. It was a new question every night. One question that would lead to Arthur calling Merlin a girl before answering and then Merlin would say his own and they would get into a long debate filled with insults and banter that made no sense over their answers. Life with Merlin had become comfortably domestic and Arthur loved it. He could see them doing this as the royal couple, after a long day of duties to the people, they would dedicate these private moments to each other, to talking about anything and everything, just simply enjoying each other’s company and being ridiculously in love. If only.  
Arthur’s relationship with his father had already been strained enough as it was, but after discovering what had led to the slaughter of so many, what his father made him and Morgana go through, it took a turn for the worst. You know what it feels like when you are talking to an ex-lover after having an extremely bad break up at the end of a long term commitment? It felt exactly like that. The feeling of numbness and awkwardness until they either say something that brings you back to the good moments and fills you with warmth or until they say something that makes you want to scream and cry and works you into a furry only they know how to get you into. Nine times out of ten, Uther does the latter for Arthur and Arthur can barely contain his rage until he is out of the council room and in his own chambers where he proceeds to throw things and scream and curse at Merlin. Merlin, who just takes it all. Merlin, who holds him after he is done throwing his tantrum. Merlin, who is the man he loves and makes him feel whole. Merlin, who can fix all the cracks in Arthur’s heart with a gentle touch and soft smile. What did Arthur do to deserve him?


	3. Chapter 2- Immortal Wounds ft. The Author Taking Three Days To Finish One Fucking Chapter, Sneaky Knights, Princes, And Ladies Spying On An All Powerful God, And Emrys’ Side Of The Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title is exactly 69 characters long. idk if that matters to y'all but I feel accomplished

Arthur stood stoically to the side of his father as the accused sorcerer sat before them. A healer. They only used their magic for healing people and didn’t even take pay for it! How could his father sit there and sentence a person who was doing good in the world to death? Especially when he, himself, had abused the power of magic and then turned his back on it. Arthur’s thoughts slowly wandered over to Emrys. How was the god going to cope with the loss of another child? Would they finally see his wrath? Arthur’s heart went out to him. The endless grieving must be torture.   
“.... for your crimes against the crown, I, Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot, sentence you to beheading,” Uther’s voice was grating to Arthur as he declared the man’s sentence. Arthur looked for Merlin in the courtroom only to see him heading to the back of the room trying to slip out unnoticed. Arthur then looked at his friends and saw Mordred, Morgana, and Lancelot also trying to discreetly leave. Arthur decided he too should follow their lead.   
Putting his hand on his father’s shoulder, Arthur leaned down and whispered, “May my knights and I be excused?” Uther just gave a curt nod in response. Arthur waved to the remaining members of the group to follow him. They left the room and quickly caught up to the other three who were hiding behind a corner.   
“What are you doing?” Arthur asked incredulously, crossing his arms. Morgana shushed him and peered around the corner. Arthur turned to Lancelot with a questioning eyebrow that Gaius would be proud of.   
Lancelot shifted nervously before opening his mouth to respond only to be cut off by heels clicking on the floor. They all turned to see Gwen. The sight of her made everyone relax. Lance smiled at his wife and wrapped an arm around her before finally answering his prince. “Following Merlin, sire.”  
Arthur nodded his head and asked, “May we join you?” Mordred looked nervous and started shaking his head no before Lancelot cut in with a quick yes.   
Morgana gasped and whispered, “He’s moving!” Arthur quickly joined his sister, peering around the corner and saw that Merlin was leaving Gaius’ chambers and was walking quickly towards the courtyard. As soon as he was far enough away, they quietly followed him.   
Merlin led them through the lower town and was stopped every couple seconds by someone calling him over. He was met with a smile from everyone. The baker gave Merlin some sweet bread that made Merlin make the most obscene sound Arthur thought he would only hear in his dreams. The baker puffed out his chest at the noise and praise from Merlin. The tailor gave him a new neckerchief which he quickly put on, praising the craftsmanship. The elderly woman flushed at his kind word and thanked him. The jeweler stopped the servant and held out a finely made circlet. It was silver and looked like tree branches coming to meet at a blue jewel that would rest in the middle of the wearer’s forehead. The jeweler was blushing and stuttering about how it was poorly made and was in no way fit to sell to anyone but Merlin quickly said it was beautiful and that anyone should feel honored to wear something made by him. This only caused the jeweler to blush further and shove into Merlin’s hands before retreating into his shop. Merlin, very carefully put it in one of the pockets on the inside of the jacket, beaming and shouting a thank you in the direction of the shop. Merlin continued walking only to be pulled into a dance that was taking place and he blended in so nicely, looking carefree and graceful. When he finally escaped the dance, he was stopped by a group of children asking him to show them a trick. He quickly complied and pretended to pull a coin out of a little boy’s ear and made a flower sprout out of his sleeve before giving it to one of the girls. The kids were satisfied and ran off laughing. Merlin was stopped by just about everyone in town and he seemed to know each of them very personally. No wonder it took Merlin so long to get anything done, thought Arthur while feeling pride that his beloved was so well liked by the people.   
Finally, Merlin left the lower town and escaped into the forest, the group still following behind him silently. They followed for what felt like hours until Merlin finally stopped at the edge of the most beautiful lake the group had seen. They watched as the water bubbled and a gorgeous woman rose from the water. They watched as she walked to the shore where Merlin stood rigid. They watched as she opened her arms and pulled Merlin close. They watched Merlin let out a cry filled with so much pain and heartache, that they even felt like they were the ones experiencing these raw emotions, and the sky fill with answering storm clouds. They felt the ground shake with Merlin’s sorrow and waves that had lazily lapped at the shore of the lake became rougher and angry. Merlin sobbed and screamed and cursed Uther, which surprised Arthur. They all heard Merlin scream about how ‘he’s killing my children Freya! My students and kin! Why? Why must they suffer?!’. They all heard her soothing voice as she assured Merlin that they found peace in Avalon, that she took special care with them. They felt the magic rushing towards the two and encasing them in a brilliant ball of golden light so bright, that the group had to look away.  
When Arthur felt the warmth finally die down, he turned back, not really caring anymore about the others. What he saw shook him inside. Merlin was sitting on the beach still in the woman's arms but instead of being in his usual servant's rags, he was wearing a fine blueish silver cloak that had runes on the edges of in gold. His eyes rather than the normal deep, comforting blue, were molten gold and still filled with tears. His raven black hair had what seemed to be white jewels in it making appear as if his hair was the night sky. Floating about his head were what looked like stars, forming a sort of crown. The air around him shifted into a warmth that you felt when coming home after a long trip away and he radiated power. If Arthur thought his manservant was gorgeous before, then there was absolutely no word to describe the divine being before him. 

Oh shit. 

Merlin, his sweet, clumsy manservant, who was always there for him, who called him a prat at their first meeting and embarrassed him in front of the whole of the lower town, is Emrys. Emrys, the god of magic, the god that was in a constant state of grieving for the loss of his children, students and kin, the god who was considered gracious and loving. The god who bowed down to one man and was made for Arthur, was the man he had fallen in love with. He could practically hear Merlin’s voice speaking in an exasperated tone, ‘Talk about killing two birds with one stone.’ Arthur just snorted at that thought before quickly ducking down to receive the glares of the others.  
“Thank you, Freya, my dear for holding me. It was improper for me to place such a burden on you,” Merlin’s voice that was typically light and playful, was shaky and filled with pain.   
“It was no burden, Father, I am always glad to help you Emrys,” The woman’s soft voice filled the air. She is a druid? “Your king is waiting for you though and I must return to my post.”  
“Of course, thank you again. If the Sidhe gives you any trouble-” Merlin was cut off by her laughter.   
“I will not hesitate to summon you, Emrys. Now go, you are always welcomed back here,” Her voice was filled with mirth and the kind of longing that you always hear in the voice of an old man talking about his friends who have already passed.   
Arthur peaked back up to see the woman disappear below the surface, leaving Mer- Emrys, leaving Emrys on the shore alone. He breathed deeply and stood up, looking to the sky. Slowly the clouds cleared, the earth stopped shaking (leaving a dizziness in the mortals that were present), and the waves calmed down. The stars that encompassed Emrys’ head took towards the heavens and the molten gold eyes slowly turned back to the blue iolites that Arthur could get lost in. Emrys turned in their direction and bowed.   
“I am sorry my kin for being selfish in my grieving,” He straightened his back and held out his arms with a gentle smile plastered on his face. Morgana and Mordred quickly took off through the brush and into his arms, colliding roughly with him and nearly toppling him over. The rest of the group slowly came out of the bushes to stand beside the three uncomfortably.   
Emrys lowered himself back to the ground, pulling the two with him before smiling sadly up at Arthur. His voice was filled with sorrow and regret when he spoke next. “I am sorry to have deceived you in such a way, my king. I am sorry for keeping a secret from you, my friends.”  
Gwaine sniffed before muttering, “Shut up, you are grieving. We can talk about this after you are done.” Gwaine sat in front of them.  
The god’s smile only softened, “When you lose a child, a pain I pray you never go through, there is no end to your mourning. There is only learning to continue on with your life or fall endlessly into the darkness. When you lose a student, you grieve for the talent you helped shape and blossom, for the spirit and light that died with them. You never forget them and become a better teacher because of them. When you lose kin, there is an ache that is left behind by them and you become stronger because of it. I will never truly be done grieving with how many I have lost. So please speak your mind now, it’s as good of a time as any.”   
“How are you feeling Merls?” Lance asked as he crouched down in front of the god.   
“Tired. I’m so tired Lance. My children are innocent, I don’t know what to do anymore,” was his reply. He truly sounded exhausted.   
Gwen let out a choking sound and placed her hand on her stomach, “I don’t know what I would do if…. Oh Gods above. I am so sorry Merlin.”   
He just smiled sadly and met her eyes, “I will never let you feel this pain Gwen, not if I have a say in it.”  
Percival plopped down on the ground next to Gwaine, “Where did Merlin come from? I mean your name is Emrys, so why the name Merlin?”  
He seemed pleasantly surprised by the question, “When I first came to Albion, the first two creatures I ever met were a mated pair of Merlin Falcons. They were so very kind and showed me everything. I treasure all Merlin Falcons because of the two that were my guide. When I needed to blend with humans, I decided to honor them by taking their name.”  
Mordred’s voice was muffled by the fine cloak as he spoke, “The Merlin Falcons are sacred creatures to my people. It is considered a crime and the worst possible thing you could do if you kill one.”  
Elyan spoke up, a chuckle carrying his words, “We have had a god protecting us this whole entire time?”  
Emrys’s smile turned on Elyan as he gave a small giggle, “I only lended a small hand here and there. You lot are really bad at looking behind you.” This received small laughs from everyone.  
Arthur didn’t know what to say. Everything, every question and every thought he wanted to scream out. He wanted to break down crying. He wanted to beg for forgiveness for his arrogance. He wanted to pull Merlin into a deep kiss because now he knew that he was quite literally made for Arthur. That thought warmed his heart. Of course there were feelings of hurt. How could Merlin lie to him for so long? Did he not trust him? Arthur kicked himself for these thoughts. He was the son of the man who waged a war on anyone with magic and sometimes Arthur, himself, had claimed magic did nothing but corrupt people, selecting not to see the pain in his servant’s eyes. And did Arthur seriously expect Merlin on the first day as Arthur’s servant to burst through the prince’s doors and tell him that he was the god of magic that would serve Arthur till the end of time? Yes. Even though Arthur could clearly see himself looking at Merlin and then summoning guards to imprison the man who just claimed not just to have magic but also to be a god. He could see it now. The whole thing wasn’t a matter of trust but of destiny and that brought more pain. Did he only stay because Arthur was his destiny? Did he actually care for Arthur or only tolerate him because Merlin has a sense of duty? He wanted answers but only when they were alone. He wanted answers when it was just him and Merlin so he could get the truth, so the servant’s attention would solely be on him, his king.  
*****************************************************************  
They arrived back in Camelot just in time for lunch. After the midday meal, everyone had set about doing their duties. They had a lot to make up for. The walk back had been filled with Merlin’s side of things and how he protected everyone to the best of his ability without taking the glory away from them. When asked what he wanted in exchange, the god had just smiled and said that seeing them grow and blossom had been enough and the way he said it didn’t make it sound as if he was saying it just for the sake of saying it, but that he truly meant it.   
Arthur had been stunned when he heard that any sorceress that Merlin had saved Arthur from lived and that Merlin often went and grieved with her about the loss of their children. That Merlin was the one to expose the knight Valiant to be dishonorable with his use of the shield. The fierceness in Emrys’ voice at what had happened and how he did not condone dishonorable acts were startling. The next big thing was that Merlin was the one who cured Gwen’s father and was the fire that helped defeat the afanc. Arthur groaned in his because Merlin had admitted to sorcery that day, how was he so blind? The group learned that the blue light that had guided Arthur through the caves when he got the Morteus flower to cure Merlin was in fact the servant in question and how Lancelot knew since he arrived in Camelot and defeated the griffin with only Merlin’s help. This earned the knight glares from the crowned prince. They learned of Edwin and his crime. While speaking of Edwin, Merlin looked ill, saying that the man had manipulated and hurt Merlin in a way that unfortunately caused him to lash out and kill the insect lover. When Sofia and her father came up in the story, the ground shook with his rage. Merlin’s anger was justified by the fact that they were Sidhe that wanted Arthur’s blood and Emrys, never liking the Sidhe before it came to light that they wanted Arthur’s blood, was more than happy to get rid of them. Merlin speaks of Excalibur, how he forged it for Arthur only in Kilgarah’s flames and how both he and the dragon were outraged that such a brilliant piece of both magic and non-magic had been touched by the murder of all those he cared about. This spite towards Uther made Merlin take the sword and give it to Freya (who they learned was the Lady of the Lake) for safekeeping until it was needed again. Merlin tells them how in actuality Ealdor was just the town he had been staying in until leaving for Camelot, that Hunith was actually the Mother who had come to warn her son that the village he treasured was under attack and that Merlin had practically raised Will. Emrys tells how he had only gotten Anhora to give Arthur a chance to prove himself but otherwise did not help because he felt Arthur needed to learn his lesson. Arthur protested claiming that people had been suffering but Gwen piped up saying Merlin had somehow always managed to give everyone food and water which she now knew was because he was god and could do that. Arthur once again shouted how he had to rat stew while everyone else was fine. The knights just snorted while Merlin crossed his arms and fixed him with a look that made Arthur feel like a child. Merlin talks about the time with Gwen’s father and how he knew of Torren’s and Morgana’s plot but decided it would be best for Morgana to choose whether she wanted to kill the man that had taken her in or not. Everyone was shocked by the fact that Morgana had nearly commited treason, she automatically filled in that it was she who saved Uther. Merlin smiled and nodded his head saying he had known she would make the right choice and that he was proud of her for it. The next story was the Questing Beast, apparently, Nimueh had traded her life for Arthur’s despite being the cause for the afanc and poison chalice.  
Merlin spoke then of laying his student, Sigan, who was a powerful sorcerer that possessed the bootlicker Cedric, to rest. The way Merlin spoke of Sigan was the way a mother spoke of her child after they fucked up pretty bad, the feeling of disappointment clear in the way Emrys worded his sentences. (Arthur had a feeling that some of it was aimed at him because once again Merlin had warned him of someone and Arthur had pushed him off only to be proven wrong.) Merlin talks about the troll thing with his father (another prime example of Arthur not listening to Merlin and then Arthur getting his ass handed to him). Emrys lightly glossed over the witchfinder incident and the time with Morgause and his mother’s spirit (another magic user that got the disappointed parent voice). He had reprimanded the Trickster and helped him get free from a cruel master. Next was the time with the sleeping curse and the dragon. Emrys told how he broke the curse using his magic after a debate with the Great Dragon, turned the undead knights into dust, released the Great Dragon because he could no longer bear to hear his brother’s moaning and groaning and had a very long talk with Morgana about who to choose as allies. (Morgana added that she had had a change of heart and was ignoring her sister who was not Arthur’s sister.) Arthur remembered the Great Dragon because his father had been outraged that the beast escaped and had every knight looking for it, promising riches and the like for its head. In the end, no one found it and every one went about their lives.   
Merlin couldn’t help but laugh about the time with the goblin, talking about how ‘it was an accident that the thing had gotten out and honestly goblins had died off a long time ago, so the fact that there was still one had taken him off guard’. He smiled fondly of the time they met Gwaine, well, until the banishment part which really pissed Merlin off. The disgust that fills Merlin’s voice when he talks about the incident with Princess Elena is now understandable because once again, The Sidhe tried messing with Camelot. The god then describes the time they saved Elyan and how he and Morgana should’ve never gone because Morgause had felt their presence and that is what got them caught. Next was the Fisher King, who apparently was an old friend of the god and was more than happy to assist him as long as he got the eye of the phoenix, which Morgause disguised as Morgana had given to Arthur. Morgana was outraged at this and wanted to hunt down Morgause right then and there to strangle her but Emrys just shook his head no which somehow calmed the screaming down to more of an upset grumbling. Then there was the Manticore, another creature that had died out after heroes kept killing them for glory, and Alice. So that explains the new addition to the physicians chambers. Emrys apparently had freed her immediately from the Manticore’s spell and destroyed it before it could kill Uther (if anyone else heard the bitterness at this, no one said anything). Merlin spoke fondly of Gilli and how well he is coming along in his studies. Everyone turned solemn when Merlin spoke of Morgause taking over Camelot and becoming queen. He tells them how proud he was when the round table was formed and felt that everyone was in their rightful places. Emrys explains that it was he who had given the Cup of Life to his children as a gift to cure them from ailments that needed more time to find an actual cure, not to create an immortal army, and he joked that it wouldn’t matter if Leon was cured by the cup since he seemed to be immortal in his own right. Merlin tells how he and Lancelot were the ones with the help of Gaius to empty the Cup and that he returned it to the Druids, who now are even more protective of it.   
He talks about the Veil that Morgause had sacrificed a wayward student of his that sided with her in order to open it and how after all that happened, when he and Lancelot had finally reached the Isle and he had prevented both Arthur and Lance from sacrificing themselves (the stern look they both got said they were in for a long lecture, according to Lance, who protested this, said he already got his lecture from both his wife and the god), he had talked to Cailleach and convinced her to close the portal after promising to visit for tea. This startled everyone but they didn’t say anything. Emrys also slipped in that Agravaine was a traitor. It just happened to be perfect timing that they arrived at Camelot then. Everyone remembers Mordred coming and the group accepting him with open arms.   
After quickly changing the fine robes back in his servant drab, Merlin set about fussing over everyone. Making sure they all got hearty lunches, plenty of water and insisted that everyone take quick naps. It was only midday and Arthur was so exhausted that he agreed with the servant. Merlin quickly made sure the knights were all doing just that before heading to Arthur’s room.   
Merlin stood by the table rather than do what he typically did and climb into bed with Arthur and that made his heart ache. Merlin had not asked for forgiveness once but rather apologized and made it known he was here for them. Arthur had questions and wanted answers. Since he knew he wasn’t going to get any rest without being curled around the god like usual, he decided now was as good of time as any. Arthur was sat down at the head of the table as he had when he discovered Morgana was his sister.  
Arthur hesitated though, not knowing how to form the words. Luckily the god seemed to know what he wanted, Merlin always did. Whether it was extra sausage in the morning or another blanket at night or which shirt he wanted to wear.   
Voice low and calming, Emrys spoke, “At first, I couldn’t believe it. My destiny, the one I was created for and the reason for my life, was a complete and total prat. A bully. I had no idea how that could equate to the great and legendary king I was promised. So yes, in the beginning, I stayed purely out of duty to my destiny. I mean, I had waited a thousand years for you so I thought, ‘hey why not give it a shot’” Arthur’s heart sank at this. He had blown it before it had even started. “But then you were an absolute clotpole and went and got me that Morteus flower so I could live.” Merlin stepped around the table and came to stand before Arthur. The prince watched as the god knelt before him and took his hands. “While I am immortal and would not have died, that action showed me that yes, yes you would be a great and brilliant king. Rather than staying because you were my destiny, I started staying because, whether you liked it or not, you were my friend. I guess around the time with Vivian is when my feelings once again shifted and I fell for you.” Arthur wanted to grab him and kiss the idiot servant but didn’t want to lose the feeling of Merlin's thumbs rubbing his knuckles. “I know that I have betrayed your trust by doing this and I am sorry that I have hurt you. I do not ask for forgiveness but that you allow me to stay so I can continue to protect the man I love, my king.” Emrys looked up and met Arthur’s eyes and for once, when looking into those beautiful blue eyes, Arthur saw that Merlin was no longer keeping anything from him. The guarded expression was gone, replaced with a pleading look filled with tears.   
As a tear fell from Merlin’s eyes, Arthur wiped it away. Arthur rested his hand on the god’s cheek and watched as Merlin turned his face into the sword calloused hand, kissing Arthur’s palm before turning back to look at Arthur's face. The servant reached up and wiped away a tear on Arthur’s cheek (Arthur hadn’t known he was crying) before pulling away. Before his hand could get too far, Arthur grabbed Merlin by the wrist and used it to yank him closer. Emrys gasped at this action, Arthur used this to his advantage and quickly covered the god’s mouth with his own. It was perfect. That was the only way to describe the feeling of Merlin against him. The kiss was soft and passionate, conveying everything that Arthur had felt. The love and adoration, the worship Arthur believed Merlin deserved even before finding out he was a god, the longing and hunger that had filled him at night when thinking of Merlin. Why had Arthur not done this sooner? The kiss was sweet and rough. Calm yet filled with a hunger only they could feel. It was filled with teasing tongues that gave kitten licks to lips and hair pulling for more access. It was satisfying yet left so much to be desired. The kiss satiated urges and created new ones. It was perfect and completely them.   
When they pulled apart, Arthur stood up and pulled Merlin to his feet. Placing another kiss on those divine lips again. Arthur pulled Merlin over to the bed in the room. “Didn’t you say something about a nap?” Merlin laughed and nodded his head. Arthur beamed at the fact he could make the god laugh. Gods above, did this boy need help.


	4. Chapter 3- The Fluff Before The Angst ft Merlin Still Being A Mom, Gaius And Alice Being Grandparents, And Kisses Between Everyone’s Favorite God And Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, i suck at dialogue, bare with me.

Everything was perfect. Well, sure there were still bumps. An example being Arthur’s relationship with his father. Or the fact his uncle was in league with Morgause. Or just Morgause in general. Arthur could see the way Merlin tenses every time someone mentioned Morgause and how the god’s eyes always flashed gold in his anger. Arthur knew that his lover had lost enough and didn’t want to lose anyone else but that the servant was losing his patience with her. A lot of the time when someone had mentioned sightings of Morgause in council meetings, Arthur would lead his god back to the safety of the royal suite and kiss him until he calmed down enough and didn’t make the fire almost jump out the hearth.  
Arthur was still getting used to the idea of having a god as a servant, along with the small bits of magic. A lifetime of being told to hate something did not vanish overnight. Merlin was very understanding of that. He did very little in front of Arthur and the amount he did do was when Arthur asked. The knights, unlike Arthur, were not hesitant about Merlin’s magic. They would not hesitate to ask him for help when something happened. Well, Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan did. Leon having been born and raised in Camelot, was much like Arthur in the fact that he wasn’t all that comfortable with magic and of course Merlin was accommodating to him. At night, before everyone went to bed, you could find Merlin sitting in front of the fireplace in Arthur’s room surrounded by the knights and the two ladies as he told stories and polished all of their armors and sharpened their swords. He always had this soft look as he told tales, always laughed at appropriate times when someone told their own story, and always reprimanded people when they did something wrong. It was these tender moments that renewed Arthur’s energy and allowed him to be able to face his father and uncle. They were a reminder that Arthur still had family and was not alone.  
The nights Alice and Gaius joined them were always filled with laughter, gifts and lectures. Alice would bring sweets with her and was very gentle when helping Merlin tend to their training injuries. Merlin refused to heal them with magic and always said they needed to learn their lessons. Gaius was with him in this but rather than let them figure out what that lesson was like Merlin, he would launch into scholar mode and describe in graphic detail exactly how damaging some of the things that happened could be. Typically after these nights, Arthur would demand a day off the next day and depending on what was happening Merlin would make it known that they were not to be disturbed or the next day he would drag Arthur out of bed with one of his way-too-cheerful-for-the-morning-sayings.On days off, Merlin would have something fun to do or have them help with chores, it depended on how the knights acted the day before. If they had been ‘good’ by Merlin’s definition (still trying to figure that one out), they would go on pic-nics or hunting trip (Emrys didn’t complain as much on this one) or would have a lay-in where Merlin would mend everyone's clothes with Gwen’s help and sing softly. His voice was absolutely beautiful.  
Arthur’s absolute favorite time though, would be when everyone had left (Merlin had tucked them all in and made sure they were comfortable, why he did this Arthur still didn’t know). Merlin would come back from his rounds and curl up with Arthur in his bed. The servant would whisper praises and reprimands on what happened that day as he ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair. Arthur would just stare at Merlin until he felt content and calm. Arthur never wanted to lose this. It was perfect and the mere thought of something ruining it all: the story times by the fire, the gifts and lectures from Alice and Gaius, the lazy days, everything, filled Arthur with a rage and heartache Arthur had only felt when he discovered his father’s misgiving. When these moments of intense emotions came, Arthur would often roll on top of Merlin and kiss him until neither could breathe. When they were forced to part in order to breathe, Arthur would launch into an attack on the god’s neck, leaving marks on the pale skin (on three occasions, these actions led to more… risque activities resulting in Emrys having to put a silencing charm on the room, the god was quite loud).  
On normal days, Arthur would look out his window to find Merlin rushing about, helping everyone that needed it. When Arthur would walk to council meetings, he would be stopped by someone, whether it was knight, lord, or servant, asking if Merlin was available. Arthur would feel a feral sort of possessiveness swell up inside of him, demanding that he say no and remind them that the servant was Arthur’s and Arthur’s alone. Alas, Arthur did not, he would tell them he did not know and would hurry along before giving into his urges to tell them that they had no right to seek him out anyways. During training, whether it was the round table or other knights, Merlin would be running all over the field with a kind smile plastered on. The only reassurance that Merlin was Arthur’s during these times, was that no matter what he was doing if Arthur needed something, Merlin would appear beside him, help him, kiss his cheek and then go back to what he was doing, leaving a very flustered prince. There were also the breakfast, lunch, and dinner rituals that continued (and yes, even though Arthur finally got his wish of being with Merlin romantically he still lied about his dreams).  
Despite all the good that was happening, Arthur could not help but be filled with a sense of foreboding. There was still his father’s treachery that loomed over Arthur (no matter how hard he tried to push it to the back of his mind, there was always something that brought it crashing to the forefront, whether it was a sorcerer/sorceress attack or execution), there was the knowledge that his uncle’s concern was fake and that he was in league with Morgause, and of course there was just that witch in general. Whenever Arthur brought these up to his god during their late night talks, Merlin would just smile sadly and say that they would cross those bridges when it was time. Arthur would follow this up with ‘do you know when it will be time?’, which would be answered with a small shake of the head and a whispered no. Emrys would then kiss him and assure him that no matter what he will stay by his side. Arthur would always fall asleep those nights with a battling sense of unease and contentment.


	5. Chapter 4- And The Thunder Rolls Ft. The Author Feeling Sorry For What They Did, Morgana Being Done With Uther’s Shit, And The Knights Watching In The Background Terrified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i planned on having this out sooner but my muses decided to jump out the window while flipping me off. Also still cant right dialogue but i am trying guys. Also everything looks so much longer in the google doc like wtf.  
> also to @Otaku_Potato: i read your comment after I had written this out and well *sips tea* I regret nothing but thank you for the love.

Arthur sat staring out into the forest, he could feel the knights and Gwen’s eyes on him but he didn’t care. In the span of 3 hours, he had lost everything. Morgause had attacked Camelot from the outside with Cenred’s men while Agravaine attacked the citadel from the inside. There had been so much bloodshed. They got out as many people as they could but everyone was panicking and stampeding like a pack of wild animals. Arthur couldn’t really blame them, they were scared and Arthur had been a fool. A fool now haunted by the memory of what he saw.  
Arthur was raised a warrior. Watching his brothers in arms fall or even his enemies fall is nothing new but watching the person you love most being ripped from your hands is. It had been a good day! Merlin had brought him breakfast and Arthur had decided to spend the day in bed, just the two of them. Who cares about the damn council meeting? Merlin had just laughed and agreed, saying that Arthur deserved the day off. They had curled up Arthur’s bed, Arthur with his head on Merlin’s chest, clinging to the immortal, whispering about all the plans Arthur had for the future of Camelot with lazy kisses and word of adoration flowing in the air. The door had burst open, Leon had a wild look in his eye which Arthur recognized as the same look Leon got in battle and his sword in his hand with blood on it. Arthur can’t tell if the ringing in his ear is from the adrenaline or the screams of his dying people. Leon had yelled something about the citadel being under attack and suddenly Arthur was in his armor with Excalibur being pressed into his hand with Emrys giving him a concerned and worried look. The three had rushed into the hallway, Arthur barking out evacuation orders. They seemed to get the upper hand simply in the fact that they had been successful in getting people out.  
Arthur hadn’t realized he had been separated from Merlin until he heard the servant’s scream. When Arthur had looked, he froze. Arthur will forever regret freezing in the moment of his god’s greatest need. Merlin was on his knees in those extravagant robes that Emrys had worn when they had found out he was a god. Emrys’s eyes were a burning gold, almost as bright as the sun, with liquid gold pouring like tears from them. Black chains were wrapped around his lithe figure while Morgause stood over him with a mad look in her eyes.  
“Emrys!” Arthur heard Morgana scream and watched as Mordred went to attack with Lancelot and Gwaine on either side of him. With a flick of Morgause’s hand, the three of them went flying. Arthur ran forward next and Morgana started saying some spell. Merlin screamed and there was a golden light. When the light was gone, everyone, every citizen, every lord and every knight was in a clearing in the forest. Everyone but Merlin.  
Arthur called out for him, everyone did the same thing. The people of the kingdom loved Merlin and the fact that he hadn’t automatically popped his head up in the crowd and yelled ‘here!’ was concerning. Arthur felt bile and panic rise up in a tidal wave. He remembered Merlin’s scream, it still echoed in his ear. Morgana was hyperventilating and screaming and being held by a sobbing Gwen. Mordred was crying and being held down by Leon and Elyan who were also crying. Percy had Gwaine held against a tree as Gwaine screamed curses and tried overpowering him but Percy, whose shoulders were shaking the harsh sobs that escaped him, was not letting up. Arthur realised they were acting this way because Merlin wasn’t there. Arthur felt the bile that had been fighting its way up finally come out. He was hunched over, throwing up, calling for Merlin. He could hear the heartbreak of his people as they came to the same realization. Everyone in the clearing knew Merlin was gone and there nothing that could be done about it right now.  
Leather boots appear in Arthur’s line of vision. When he looks up through the tears, he sees the disappointed face of his father. “This is pathetic. I thought I raised you better than this,” Uther snarled.  
Arthur looked down but he couldn’t bring himself to feel ashamed. Merlin was gone. Purpose and meaning was gone. Couldn’t his father see that? That the people were mourning the lost, Morgana was in hysterics and Arthur’s most trusted friends were breaking with him?  
“That would imply that you put forth the effort to be there for him!” Morgana’s voice was shrill and filled with panic and rage. Uther looked only mildly surprised Morgana was speaking out against him. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.  
“The boy was a servant and better yet a magic user. It is for the best that he is gone. Better to die at the hands of that Witch then to burn at the pyre. And for all we know he could’ve been helping them!” Uther snapped back, looking pointedly at everyone.  
“You have no right to say that! This would’ve never happened if you had not had an affair!” Morgan cried. She was standing behind Arthur, rubbing circles on his back. A gasp rippled through the crowd and Uther paled.  
“Wh-what are you talking about?” Uther stammered before regaining his composure.  
Morgana snarled, her face set into a fierce sneer. “You know damn well what I am talking about Uther Pendragon. You turned to magic to help your barren wife carry a child and when you couldn’t remain faithful, you blamed magic. You have killed hundreds of those with magic and then act shocked when those who are in pain come for revenge! They are not evil. You are.”  
Uther growled, “ You have no idea what you are talking about.”  
Morgana straightened herself and turned towards the people of Camelot. “My name is Morgana Le Fay and I am the bastard daughter of Uther Pendragon and his eldest child. Uther betrayed his wife by lying with my mother which resulted in her death. He consulted magic and was warned of the price that would be paid but he failed to heed the warning of both a high priestess of the old religion and a god!”  
A loud crack resounded. Morgana was holding her cheek, Uther still had his hand raised and Arthur watched in horror. Uther had struck Morgana. That in itself was a confession. Uther turned his gaze to Arthur, “Magic is evil. I have taught you that everyday of your life. Surely you do not believe these lies?”  
Anger filled Arthur, “The only reason, I did not run you through with my blade when I discovered this was because of the servant that risked himself to save everyone here!” Arthur’s voice had slowly risen in volume. “You stripped me not only of a mother but also of a sister and that is unforgivable. I will believe Morgana any day over you.” Uther looked shocked by this. Arthur is ashamed to admit that at one point, his father’s approval was everything to Arthur but then Merlin came and showed him to want the approval of the people, not a heartless man.  
“Magic’s evil has poisoned your brain!” Uther cried in rage.  
“If that is true, you can kill me where I stand!” Morgana yelled. “I am a high priestess of the old religion and faithful servant to the god, Emrys, who serves the Once and Future King. The king that will unite all of Albion and bring forth a golden age for Camelot. I serve Emrys and he serves Arthur!” Uther looked pale. He opened his mouth then closed it again. He seemed to be unable to find the right words.  
“You, Uther Pendragon, are a wicked and vile man, who killed hundreds of innocents because of one night of carnal pleasure. You disobeyed and ignored the warnings. As a result, you lost the only person who could’ve ever truly loved a disgusting man like you,” Morgana spoke low. “Arthur, come. We have to find a way to get Emrys back. And with that I blindly followed Morgana.  
Which leads them to where they are now. A broken band of knights, an angry high priestess, a pissed off pregnant lady, and a shattered king. No kingdom, no home, and most importantly no irritable servant there to reassure them. To make them feel as though they had some chance. To bring a smile to their face even though things couldn’t be worse. The druids had come about an hour ago. Apparently, they had felt Emrys’s distress and came to help. They had automatically set about helping the people, healing and gathering food to feed the mass of people. Uther had kicked and screamed like a child but two guards, on their own volition, had dragged Uther away and stayed by his side to ensure he did nothing to the druids. News had spread about what had conspired between the Pendragon siblings and their father. The people now addressed Morgana as Princess Morgana rather than Lady Morgana. Arthur felt proud of his people. They easily accepted the change and gave Morgana the recognition that she deserves.  
Whenever Arthur closed his eyes, he could see his lover’s pain filled face, hear his scream of pain at whatever Morgause had done to him. Arthur was filled with self hatred. He had frozen. In the time his other half needed him most, he had hesitated. His servant, his god, his best friend, his advisor, his lover, his was now in pain because of that small moment. And here he was hesitating still! No more. Determination settled next to the self loathing and filled Arthur with warmth.  
Arthur stood up and turned towards his family. They all looked like how he feels which only fueled him more. “We need a plan. I am open to suggestions on how exactly we are going to get back our God.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumbler, its alienshavedreamstoo. I post a bunch of Merlin Aus/writing prompts that are free to be used. I also do some the Great Gatsby stuff or talk about my family but mainly its Merlin Aus


End file.
